Can you recognize a hugger and a non-hugger? The face gives it away. For this challenge I decided to make a Free Hugs sign and sit at one of the tables the clubs usually use for promotional activities in the courtyard at my university. In the midst of a bustling crowd and students shouting…
“Free Drag Show!”
“Justice Week!”
“Help the Victims in Japan!”
I added to the noise, “Free Hugs!”
By the way, I’m the Daydream Dancer. I’m made of parts—one part creative adventurer, one part dancer, one part dreamer, one part sweetie, and one part hug reject. That’s right. While I hugged and was hugged, told you’re so sweet and I love hugs! , I was also told you’re crazy. Is it irrational to fear not being hugged on free hug day? I felt anxiety even when I was making the sign, when I was riding the bus to campus with the sign tucked under my arm, when I noticed the wind that day. Oh no, I thought, what if my sign blows away and I’m left hug-less and alone? I found an empty table, set my stuff in the chair, and propped up my sign with a heavy book for support. The girl across from me handing out flyers for the drag show giggled right as she saw my sign. “Do you want a hug?” I asked. She pursed her lips and smiled, “Sure.” It was a good start. The sun was out, I was doing something daring—I felt something in my cheeks, a pressure to smile despite my nerves. I’m not usually a smiler, but I was giving hugs. Don’t smiles just go along with the package?
Well, the challenged progressed and I would say more people passed on a free hug than those who accepted. From my perspective it was difficult for me not see them all as huggers and non-huggers. The non-huggers gave themselves away with their phones attached to their cheeks, their headphones and iPods, that blank city kid gaze into the far distance, or worse, shifty eyes. I had to exercise my skill for catching glances. When I did it was funny. “Do you want a hug?” I’d ask, and the non-hugger might say something like, “Naw, I’m good” or “No, but thanks.” One person said I was crazy. Is it crazy to hug? Is it not synonymous with showing the love? If it’s crazy to voluntarily break the bubble of privacy we maintain in our public relationships with other human beings, and more acceptable to communicate with two-dimensional user profiles via social networking websites, I’d prefer to be crazy.
Luckily I was not the only one. It was great to be hugged and my fear subsided the more I gave. You see, the great thing about hugs is that they are both given and received simultaneously. Some people paused for a minute to stare at my sign. It was a fairly simple message, just the words “Free Hugs!” I stood to the side in a yellow shirt, smiling, waiting for them to decide whether or not they wanted to accept my gesture. Some people had to think about it for a second, as if inwardly asking, “Do I want a hug? Do I want to be touched? Do I want to hug this stranger?” The hugger resolved this with another question, “Why Not?” A good hug only takes a few seconds of your time. Some huggers said that they needed a hug today, or that this made their day. A few people asked me why I was doing this and I told them about the project. A few seemed touched by the gesture, like it was a beautiful thing to see someone offer kindness so openly.
But then…
I was approached by a man with a clipboard. He worked for my school and asked what my project was for, if it was a chartered group of the University. I said no, but it was for a class project. Then he said I was not allowed here and that I had to leave because the tables in the courtyard were only for established University clubs. I was shocked, and to be honest disgusted. Rules like those kill me, there is too much gray area. I tried to hold my tongue, and asked if I moved to a bench it would be alright to keep giving hugs. He said yes, but was pressing me to move from the table. “Is there someone else trying to use this space?” I asked. “No, but you’re not allowed here.” I planned on complying with his demands, but I wanted to know his honest opinion first. Sure, it was his job to kick the non-clubs out from the tables, but didn’t he read the sign? What harm could it do? I said, “It’s just a sign.” And with that held out his hand to reach for my sign, “I told you, you were not allowed and you didn’t listen. Now I’ll have to take your sign.” He left with it. I was appalled. My friend was with me at the time and we slowly gathering our things and moved from the table. Later the man gave my sign back when he noticed that we had left. He said he just wanted to make sure we left the table. In retrospect, I realized he was the man who needed a hug most of all. I wonder how he would have reacted. I'm not so sure if he was hugger or a non-hugger.
I didn’t know what I was really doing on free hug day. I thought I was just completing a challenge. Now I see it as an expression of humanity. I meet new people, I smiled, I hugged. Someone asked if it was my mission statement. Another shut the free hugs down. But I’d like to do it again. In an odd way, I felt courageous.
Free e-hugs out to alla yalls. You don’t even need your arms just an open mind and some imagination.
xxxxx
THE DDD
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